8AM Adventures

a little blurry, but i was in a blur when it happened

I’ve always heeded my mother’s advice about wearing clean underwear just in case of an emergency. As a mom myself, I have my own advice to offer: don’t bother using a self-clean oven if it’s dirty because it will just catch on fire.

At a time in the morning when most mothers were enjoying a cup of coffee (ha!) or taking their kids to school, I was calling the local Fire Department. It was bound to happen with 3 little boys, right? Too bad I can’t blame this on them.

The call went something like this:

Operator: 911. What’s your emergency?
Me: There’s a fire in my oven!
Operator: Is the fire contained?
Me: Yes, but I can’t open the oven because it’s locked!
Operator: It’s locked?
Me: It’s a self-cleaning oven and instead of cleaning it’s on fire. What do I do?
Operator: Get of the house. I’m sending a fire truck right away.
Me: But what about my kids? It’s cold outside and they’re in pajamas. {Mental Note: Always dress the kids in the morning just in case of an emergency.}
Operator: Do you have a car? Put them in your car. Go outside!

By now I could hear the sirens down the hill, but what do I do? I throw the boys in the Suburban and turn on a movie. Then I run back into the house to clean up before the firemen arrive. Because, you know, when they’re busy putting out a fire they’re still totally judging my crap housekeeping. {Mental Note: Stop waiting for a laundress and do the damn laundry before it piles up.}

The fire engine pulls up right in front of the boy’s firetruck jeep (fitting!) and out come 5 burly fireman in full uniform toting pickaxes across the yard. The man in charge asks me where the fire is and I point to the kitchen. By now the boys are ignoring the movie and fully engaged in the drama unfolding in front of them.

“Can we go inside and watch them put out the fire, Mommy?” asks B. “Are they going to get all my toys wet? Can I ride on the fire truck?”

Minutes later the man in charge returns and tells me the fire is out. No real damage. The range is essentially ruined, but the house is ok. (Depends on who you’re asking, I thought, but at least the house didn’t burn down.) Looks like I won’t be baking much of anything for a while. This is our second cheapo range since we’ve moved in. With the demo plans in less than 3 months, there’s no sense in buying a third. We’re going to be doing a lot of eating at Nana’s, eating taking out, or eating things that don’t require actual cooking.

PB&J anyone? I’ve got a pile of laundry to finish.

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